You need to ask better questions. Here's why.
This may be one of the most powerful things you can do for your clients.
Hello Fertile Guides!
I want to tell you a secret that no one is talking about. In many situations, coaching is less about what we can contribute and more about how we can show up to listen. A very important part of our job is educating clients on relevant topics, but we also must not neglect the critical opportunity to simply ask a well-pointed question and wait.
Now, before I get any further, I want to emphasize that our role is not to be counselors or therapists, unless you have a background in this specialty. Rather, we’re here to open up a safe space for our clients to talk and be heard. This opportunity can be wildly therapeutic, especially if we are stepping into territory that has been historically been bottled up.
While this may not automatically seem relevant or useful for fertility clients, there is so much more wrapped up in TTC stress than what meets the eye. Often, associated stresses are not what we initially assume and they vary from client to client. Asking specific questions can really open up the door for meaningful conversations that ultimately drive strategic goal setting, relevant resources, and the discussion topics for upcoming sessions.
My one word of caution - don’t push. Clients may not be ready to discuss certain topics or even be triggered by various memories. Having a few referrals for trauma trained counselors/therapists can be especially useful when you sense that the client’s needs are beyond your training and depth. Remember, we’re not here to replace experts in this field, just hold space for the client in whatever she wants to talk about.
We’ll go more in depth on specific questions to ask in future editions of The Fertile Guide, but for now, here are a few topics that you can broach when working with a client:
Relationship with parents, siblings, or significant other/spouse
Childhood memories and experiences
Grief
Emotions after a loss, failed cycle, or extended season of TTC
Work-life balance
Satisfaction from current job/career path
Feelings toward food
Emotions and life circumstances at the onset of period problems or other health problems